Yesterday I was blindfolded placed in a cave and told to go cut the board (located somewhere in the cave) into two pieces one 4 feet 3 3/8 inches long and the other 2 feet 2 5/16 inches long armed only with the tools I have. Well I have a hammer folks.

Late yesterday afternoon a sage wandered in and took the blindfold off, whereupon I discovered I am still in the dark, with only hammer. I also found the board...it is in a locked box for which I do not have the key.

I am frustrated beyond all hope. I have tried telling my superiors that I am incapable of successfully completeing this task. I am being ignored. This is the first sucky thing about my new job.